![]() ![]() In fact, we seldom want to do what we need to do, and this in itself can drive up anxiety, making it even harder to get traction. There is always something you can do, but that doesn’t mean it’s what you want to do. ![]() It’s ok if I may not want to do what I need to do.Are you friendly? Do you engage with people around you, or are you aloof, reserved, or always on your phone? If you want connection, focus on connecting with people. Instead of focusing on your attachment status, why not focus on your behavior (something you can readily do something about). People judge you for what you do, and how you behave, not for whether you are alone or accompanied. There is no shame in being alone unless you buy into the myth that there is. Not sure what happiness booster makes the most sense for you? No one describes the research behind happiness improvement strategies better than Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of the How of Happiness. If you are looking for someone to make you happy, you aren’t looking for a relationship so much as you are looking for an escape. It sounds almost cliché, but no one can make you happy but you. Relationships don’t make us happy, they are vehicles for us to share our happiness. I need to be happy so I can share my happiness with someone else.What matters most to living a satisfying life is finding happiness in the journey, rather than the destination, which leads us to positive thought number 6. Yes, life is finite, as are many outcomes of our choices, but life is also unpredictable, and precious. It also can be particularly important to remember that life is not a race at all, and there is no master time-keeper. Sure, it’s important to notice what is going on in the world around you – this helps keep you aware – but your friends’ lives really have nothing to do with yours, except in how they reflect what you may want. Noted shame expert and swimmer, Brene Brown, highlights the toxicity of social comparison through this common swimming strategy – to stay focused on your race, rather than the people around you. It’s easy to fear that you are behind in some life race, and will never catch up to your friends, but nothing can ruin your intrinsic motivation faster than comparing yourself to others. ![]() Sure, your looks matter, but what you do with them is infinitely more predictive of relationship success. Studies show that people are more attracted to happiness and confidence than they are to looks alone. Remember, relationships do not have to be romantic to be deeply satisfying, and friendships can be good practice for romantic relationshipsĪttractiveness has more do with self care than with innate physical beauty. The best cure for loneliness is to foster and cultivate more relationships. ![]() Sure all your friends might suddenly be in relationships, but that doesn’t mean there are no more single people to hang out with, or meet.
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